“Are you JUST a mom?” I have heard this question and similar ones so many times recently. Usually, it’s from people who have found something that they are genuinely passionate about and believe that I will be equally passionate about it and my life will improve when I am introduced to said thing. I appreciate people reaching out to me about things they are passionate about, and I don’t mind politely declining or supporting from a distance.
What I DON’T appreciate is that question. It implies that being a mama isn’t enough. It implies that what I do all day isn’t fulfilling. It calls into question the importance of what I do. I’m not here to tell y’all for the 1 millionth time how hard being a mom is. You’ve heard that from me and from other mamas most likely. You yourself know it if you are a parent. What I want to do in this blog post is tell you what being “just a mama” actually is.
Being “just a mama” is being someone’s whole world. I carried my son for nine months. I was God’s chosen vessel to bring another life into this world. That’s important. After those nine months, my body brought him out into the world. That’s important. After that, I nourished him and cared for him with my body. And now, I am still his world. I am the first person he sees when he wakes up and one of the last he sees when he closes his eyes at night.
He will learn love, commitment, strength, and most importantly, he’ll learn about God through me. My every decision, action, and word is being watched, listened to, and learned from. Being “just a mama” is being a teacher and the first influence on the character development of a human being. That is important.
Being “just a mama” is many jobs rolled into one. Caretaking, cleaning, nourishing, loving, disciplining, supporting, and so many more things. Things that take learning and trial and error to figure out and do successfully. Things that you will think about all day long. Sometimes, all night long too. It’s not nine-five. It’s not five days a week. It’s all day every day.
Being “just a mama” is my passion. I am passionate about my son. I am passionate about who he will become and helping him get there. I am passionate about my son becoming a man of God. I am right where I want to be, and most importantly I am right where God wants me to be.
None of this is to say that you shouldn’t have passions outside of your children. I do! I love to write and read and take pictures of my kid. If you can make a business out of a personal passion, that is great! But never assume that mothers who don’t, aren’t living up to their full potential. Don’t assume that they aren’t happy and fulfilled. And don’t devalue the role of a mother! We are shaping humans!!
“She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.” Proverbs 31:27-28
2 thoughts on “Are You JUST a Mama?”
I 100% agree with this post. I think it is amazing when women choose to be full-time moms. I think it is amazing when women choose to work full- or part-time and still find the energy to give 100% to their kids after work. I think it is awesome when women choose to be amazing aunts and godparents to other people’s children when God guides them away from having their own. What matters is supporting each other in our own choices and journeys. Choosing to be a full-time mom doesn’t mean you gave up on a dream or settled for this task. It may just mean that God gave you a new dream and passion. It may also be a decision that was made between you and your husband that for now, raising your child is what is most important and you can finish pursuing another passion after they are in school. It really doesn’t matter and it really isn’t anyone else’s business anyway. To ask someone “so you’re just a mom?” is not only condescendingly degrading, it’s assuming that the child you are holding in your hands isn’t worthy of passion, your devotion, or the possible sacrifces (however big or small) you have or had to make. Thanks for posting this and reminding women (and men) how important our children are. 🙂
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Amen sister!!! Spot on!!!