A couple of weeks ago I was rocking Wesley during one of his naps. It was one of those days where I was glued to the rocking chair. Between teething, a growth spurt, and a few rough nights, my little guy didn’t want to be anywhere but in his mommy’s arms. He was tired, grumpy, and hurting.
While I was rocking him, I became increasingly frustrated. I kept thinking of ALL of the millions of chores I had to do. It was so frustrating for me to be stuck here in this room while I knew my house needed to be cleaned and tidied up.
I am the type of person that can easily become stressed when I have a long “to-do” list in front of me. And I become even more stressed when I know there is no way I am going to be able to accomplish it. So, there I was rocking my sweet baby who was finally sleeping and was all cuddled up in my arms, and all I could do was stress and feel frustrated that I wasn’t doing dishes or laundry or another one of the many to-dos on my list.
And then it hit me. I am doing the only thing that is really important right now. Why am I worried about those other things? I often feel inadequate when I lose track of some aspect of the house. I am a perfectionist and sometimes I let that get in the way of my happiness. I even let it keep me from enjoying my family. That’s exactly what I was doing right then. Is it really important for the kitchen to be spotless right now? Who is it hurting? Is it really important to be folding laundry or cleaning counters right now? No! What is important right now is enjoying these sweet moments with my baby.
I often struggle with understanding what I’m supposed to be doing. Because I want to do everything and do it perfectly. But that’s just not humanly possible. And in moments like that it is so important to remind myself that this little guy is what is really important. That’s not to say that all of the other aspects of home making aren’t important, but what is most important right now?
In 18 years when Wesley is going off to college, I won’t remember the days that I had a clean kitchen, folded laundry, and cooked elaborate three course dinners. I’ll be clinging to the memories of rocking him and watching him peacefully sleep in my arms. I’ll be cherishing the memories of spending hours playing with him on the floor. One day he won’t need me to rock him to sleep. One day he will sleep through the night and not want midnight cuddles with his mama.
I don’t want to just live in a house, I want to live in a home. I want to MAKE a home for my family. That can only happen if I remember what is important and enjoy the sweet moments. Wesley growing up in a happy but slightly messy home is more important than growing up in a pristine home with a stressed-out mama who can’t enjoy her time with him because there are just too many things to get done.
My family means so much to me and having Wesley has already taught me a lot about letting go and learning how to enjoy my loved ones. I keep hearing people say how fast it goes by and I can tell you it really does! In the blink of an eye, Wesley has already been in our home for over six months and he is changing and growing every day. Raising him and loving him are the important things right now.
1 Corinthians 13:13 “So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love.”
One thought on “Making a Home”
Wow, excellent post, Ashlea! I love reading these. They are very encouraging. Love you!
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